1. In my recent venting post about Goals, I whined about how I feel a little paralyzed and afraid of how to make progress right now. This is such a frustrating place to be. This January has offered up a whole bunch of helps that are right up my alley. Hands Free Mama (Which I got in real live paperback because getting on my kindle just seemed too ironic), Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, The Mind Organization for Moms program (for free!)… The temptation is so great right now to revamp everything, organize all the things! Clean all the things!
I just want to DO STUFF! But right now I have to rest. It is really hard to put rest into my day. I know that sounds kind of silly, but it is true. If I want to get rest, that means that I have to feed the littles a real lunch at a logical time (a little before noon in our case) and not just let them graze all day. Then I have to intentionally walk away from the mess in the kitchen (which is not as hard as it might seem) and herd the littles into the bedroom (which is MUCH harder than it seems) changing a diaper and getting a drink and then settling them down and – resting, perchance to sleep? But my whole morning is now structured around getting that lunch-and-nap timing just right. This is HARD! Dare I say, maybe this is discipline-building. Yes, I am definitely increasing my self control by having a daily nap.
2. My body is doing this pregnancy thing okay so far this time. This baby the size of a sweet pea makes me look like I have a baby the size of a cantelope. But who’s counting? I have my yoga pants, I have like 2 or 3 shirts that are long enough. I have slippers and pony tail holders, so I’m good for now. I refuse to wear maternity clothes until I have my ultrasound on the 14th of February. Stretch, yoga pants, stretch!
3. I caved in a let myself reread The Lord of The Rings again. I felt guilty about ignoring all the new books I have on my list but it’s been a couple years, and I just missed the books so much, like an old friend. We re-bought (after ruining our last two copies) the movies with an amazon gift card we got for Christmas, so I have been watching them while I fold laundry. But as much as I love the movies, I still love the books more. The pace is so much different. In the movies the pace is harried, exciting, and breathless. But in the books you get a feel for the plodding slowness and exhaustion of the long journey, and I can relate to that so much more. (Kind of like my blog title here!) Last night as I was finishing up the part about Tom Bombadil, I thought about how Frodo has a lot of little pauses, little happy endings in the middle of his story. And I realized that I have those in my own life – little closings of chapters, rescues from troubles, time to catch my breath – but they are never The End. But those little endings are so important. They help me rest and prepare to move on to the next thing. You miss that part in the movies.
4. As I spiral into morning sickness/exhaustion (which I am counting as a good thing, just inconvenient) I am trying a new spin on the Motivated Moms idea. I have the weekly page and printed it up and posted it on the bulletin board. That way everyone knows what needs to be done. Kids get to put their name down by what they do. This plan is only in its beginning stages, so I can’t promise you it will work, but I think it has potential since it has space for daily items and weekly/seasonal things too.
Also, one thing we have done is that each big kid has one main chore that is theirs alone – Posy has the bathrooms, Ben has the dinner dishes, James mops, Tessa is usually the one to clean the living room, Max has to empty the dishwasher before school (which isn’t a big job, but you’d think it was from his moaning about it.)
5. Because it’s been a while, my favorite big family song:
6. Sometimes I can fall into feeling sorry for myself, especially when it comes to all the things I can’t do because we have this beautiful, amazing family that I wouldn’t trade for anything at all. But I really do have my moments when that whole dying to self thing just gets a little, well… old. But then I found this verse, which may be completely out of context, but I’ve been too lazy to check because it just speaks so generously to my heart right now and I don’t care if it is out of context:
Isaiah 43:4 Because you are precious in my eyes and honored and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.
It is just what I need to feel a tremendous hug from God and to look around and see, I traded myself for this – for all these little people… I got so much in return for my measly, pouty sacrifice! And then I feel a little less whiny and more thankful. It just helps my attitude.
7. I am loving going through the Psalms right now. I’m up to number 19. I feel so much more normal seeing David’s mercurial mood changes. And I love how even in his darkest times, he turns to God at the end of the Psalm, placing his trust again and again.