Jennifer Groft

I told you I’d be back in January, even though it did take nearly half the month to get back. I’ve been trying, I’ve been trying!

My purpose for taking a little blogging break was to focus on my family and to spend time with them. I did some of that. Not nearly what I had planned, but some… You see, most of the last few weeks have been spent with one thing on my To Do list:

1. Do Not Throw Up

The very day after I decided and announced my blogging break, I discovered there was a NEW BABY on the way. And I was so very, very glad that I was on a blogging break. I was scared of another miscarriage, I was angry at the change of plans, I was happy because – BABY. I have, predictably, been a nauseated, emotional time bomb ever since.

So far, so good! The ultrasound is healthy, the heartbeat is loud, the belly is rounding out. Things seem to be going well, so I am making this baby blog-official! Due date: Late-ish July.

Then there is that whole Word of the Year thing. That made for a nice focus last year, even though I cheated a little. I started with Presence and it kind of turned into Intentional, because I just seemed to trip over that word every where I went. Are you ready for this year’s Word?

Lean in.

I know, it’s two words, but you get the idea.

What on earth does that mean? I am a hider, an anesthetizer, a distract myself at any cost kind of girl. If there is a strong feeling to be had I would just as soon run in the opposite direction. The problem with that is that it leaves me with all this emotional fallout, and it tends to drop on me in the strangest situations, like when there is too much laundry to fold and I find myself a weeping, anxious mess and can’t figure out why. So this year is about not running. When the strong feelings come, it’s time to lean in, to feel the feels, scribble the journal, let the mascara run down my face, and, just maybe, say what I mean.

It’s a scary word.

Since so much of my life is rolling along out of control (Each day dawns without the knowledge of whether I will feel good enough to be functional, etc.) My sole quantifiable New Years Resolution is to keep track of the books I read this year. I made a list on Evernote and everything. I am even counting (I have a special part of the list for this:) books I skim or just don’t finish. I tend to do that with a lot of my kindle books.

There are other foggy resolutions like walk more (when I feel better), eat better (when I can stand to eat food that I can smell), and take better care of the house (again, when I feel better). But those will either kick in later or be measured in a looser way. books read makes for a nice, clean list.

I enjoyed the break, but it sure is nice to be back!